The Eviscerator

Hello again. It is I, Charlie the great Chiweenie.  As I was warming myself under the blanket, possibly attempting to take a nap, my mommie and daddie woke me with their conversation about Easter.   They were discussing whether or not there should be gifts for Easter.  Really?!? Who are they to say if there are gifts for Easter? That is purely determined by the easter bunny. They have no say over that matter.

Surely mommie and daddie don’t have a direct line to him too?!?  I get rather frustrated that they have a direct line to santa. Every year I have to be on my best behavior throughout December.  Not that I, Charlie, am bad, I just need to be extra good.  Like try very, very hard not to poop on the floor for a whole month during the freezing cold depths of winter.  Difficult.  Back to what the Easter bunny will bring.  I would love a new stuffed toy to play with.  Mommie and daddie are hesitant on this.  This is completely due to the fact they believe that I, the gentle dear chiweenie, eviscerate things.  I believe this crazy idea stems from when mommie brought home some new toys for Bullet and me.

There we are with our toys. As you see I take mine to the kennel, then I can protect it from Bullet.  he enjoys stealing things to torment me.   Here is a picture I have found of Bullet later within the day with his toy:

When you look very closely you can see stuffing coming out of this poor dear squirrel that mommie purchased for him. He attempts to get their squeakers.  Those poor stuffed creatures.  The squeaker is like their little heart. She snuck the picture while he was resting after his first attempt.  Then she snaps this picture:

Yes, that was my bone.  The gentle chiweenie did not cause such a massacre.  It was the Bullet who was then resting before managing the final disembowelment of his poor squirrel.

How could this be that they believe I would be the cause of all this.  I show no sign of aggression towards any furry little creatures.  Squirrels meander onto the deck while I gaze out the patio door minding my own business.  Now my puppy brother bullet is always on the attack.  He would bust through the window if he could to catch the squirrel or bunny, for that matter. 

Not sure why mommie does not see this.  These are the only pictures of the remnants of the painful torture that occurred.  I can not understand why she will not ensure the Easter bunny brings me a new stuff toyed?   After diligently looking for proof that she knows bullet is the cause of the problem, I came across one of her old blog posts, where she states that: if she dressed me up as a bunny bullet would eviscerate me, the dear gentle chiweenie. 

 

That is it…I have solved the puzzle.  She cannot let the Easter bunny come here in fear that Bullet the Jack Russel will eviscerate him causing the children of the world to go without Easter.  Mommie must then be the one who brings us the toys.  She must do this so the family does not catch on to Bullets evil plan to capture the bunny and cancel easter across the world. She must keep the Easter bunny safe by letting him skip our house.  Smart mommie.  Maybe though mommie should seek a puppy whisperer for Bullet.  Then she would not have to continue to hide his aggression towards little fuzzy bunnies of the world.

As mommie has though, I must keep this master plan of Bullets quiet as to not evoke fear amongst the remainder of the house and do everything in my chiweenie powers to prevent this  destruction of Easter from happening.

I must go now there are bunnies to protect!! Plus I need to convince mommie that Bullet could use therapy and Charlie the Great Gentle Chiweenie needs a new toy for Easter, please.

Be safe my bunnies, Be safe