Mexican Mayhem and Staying Safe

 

Long time no talk, it is I Chuck the Chiweenie, just in case anyone forgot about me. Quite honestly I am not sure how anyone  could forget about my fluffy adorableness.  My mommie will soon be departing the sack and taking my human teenage brother to Mexico.  It is his first time to Mexico while it is mommies second. Of course, I am not sure if visiting an old person town across the border really should count as visiting Mexico.  

 

Anyway, my mommie is rather nervous about traveling there.  First, it is her first time flying to a foreign country.   Second, Mexico has gotten a bad rap because of those drug cartels.  Third, the most important I am sure, will she have enough clothes, shoes, and sunscreen to wear.

 

My mommie though has no need to fret.   She is my mommie and everyone fears Chuck the Chiweenie in Mexico.  She will be safe and they shall treat her like a queen.  What she should have been concerned about was staying safe in the sun and hydrated.  Since she has a tendency to overlook the little things to take care of herself, I hacked her Amazon Prime account to get her some Mexico travel necessities. 

 

1. Zinka - You know the sunscreen for your nose that was popular in the 80's.  Yeah, I will ensure my mommie brings this cool trend back.  Green noses for all plus people will think she is weird and leave her alone.

 

2.  Reef Safe Sunscreen - Mommie and Forest will be visiting a nature preserve so it is very important the creatures, aside from them, stay safe.  Plus this will ensure my mommie and Forest white bums do not burn.

 

3.  Coola Lip Balm with SPF - I found a mint flavor for my mommie.  She loves having hydrated lips and too often the lips are overlooked for sunscreen.  Which reminds me so are the ears, so I will need to make a big note for them to put sunscreen on their ears.

 

4.   Contigo Water Bottle - Mommie hates having to buy bottled water after security.  With this she can fill up at the airport bubbler or dump a cocktail for the beach in it and it will stay gloriously cold.

 

5.  Easy Spanish Phrase Book - Mommie says she knows Spanish, but asking where you are, get me a margarita and where is the bathroom just may not cut it.  I would say she could rely on Forest since he took Spanish class, but taking it, understanding it, and remembering it are way different.  Just in case, they can communicate.

 

That is what I, Chuck the Chiweenie, have deemed is super important for my mommie and Forest to take with them to Mexico.  My week will be spent snuggling with my daddie.  He promised to take me to Applebees for my first time.  Mommie says dogs are not allowed, but daddie shall sneak me in.

 

Well now I must go and ensure that my mommie is treated like a queen once she arrives in my country of the great Mexico.  Safe Travels...Safe travels all.

 

 

 

Twitterpated

 

Hello, It is I chuck the Chiweenie.  Sorry for being so MIA from my mommies blog over the last few months.  There have been many to do's going on.  

Love has been in the air.  I found this lovely short haired nicely tanned Chihuahua girl that I was wooing for days.  Ok maybe it was more like a day, but in dog years that is months.  We were so in love.  Spending our evenings getting all shitty on Bourbon street and our days sunning ourselves on the riverwalk.  I was a lucky Chuck.  Come to find out she was even on my level in society...she was a duchess. 

  

She kept this very quiet from me...I found out about it on the day of the parade.  She probably thought I would want her for her title...little did she know I am prince and a lord of my own people. She was overjoyed and we celebrated the nights away.  We even ran into mommie and daddie's favorite New Orleans bartender too.

 

That girl has it going on and can mix up a drink like nobodies business.  She made me one of those special drinks of green goodness.  Just like my mommie loves.

 

Well I discovered that this glorious green goodness is a little much for Chuck...I woke up days later in Arizona running with my crew.  Our crew has gotten so powerful in this town, we have even made the news.

 

 

Strays they say, we are not strays.  We are strong.  And excuse us for getting on these young children's arses to get them to school in time.  Let them try to take us...we will continue to rule the streets.  I though had to leave them to return home to my mommie and daddie before they got suspicious that I, the innocent Chuck, was behind this. 

 

Now what about my duchess you ask, when I finally awoke from the haze of the green goodness I discovered she had returned to her family...something about going to rehab and needing to sober up.  Good for you princess, good for you.

 

 

Weiner Wisdowm - So Fancy

Hello, it is I, Chuck the great Chiweenie. As you recall, or if you don't click right here, my little epiphany about my mommie thinking that I would be a glorious little puppie model, I thought it was due time to update everyone with my go to outfits for winter.  It is very frigid in Wisconsin and it is important to ensure one is warm.  Plus one must not forget that last Wednesday, January 14th was:

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National Dress Up Your Pet Day

It's National Dress Up Your Pet Day! Does your pet have an impeccable sense of style? Today is the perfect opportunity to break out the bejeweled collars, sassy sweaters, and fashion accessories.

A Weimaraner named Man Ray is arguably the most famous dressed-up pet in American history. In the 1970s he collaborated with his owner, photographer William Wegman, to produce a collection of internationally acclaimed portraits.

 

Now speaking of staying warm and much to my dismay, I had to recruit my puppy brother Little Man to help with said fashion post.  It turns out that my master plan of staying warm by increasing my food content has contributed to a little more fluff then I had initially anticipated.  No worries my mommie has said placed me on a strict caloric intake to ensure that I will once again become a lean, mean, little chiweenie.

 

Let's begin shall we...with it being winter and the possibility of being snowed in stylish pajamas are a necessity

I prefer to wear ones with a collar for that extra coverage.  Notice that when it comes to pajamas it is important to have back legs also for extra coverage.

Here we have little man showing off the butt flap still.  This comes in handy when you need that little extra butt scratch for your humans or if the pajamas are getting you a little to warm, you just open the flap and feel the breeze.

 

Speaking of staying warm...winter does mean sweater weather.

 

Here I am sporting one of my favorite winter sweaters. May look familiar I have featured this in the original, branching out post. Not only does it have a glorious pattern on but it has....

 

a hood.  Most of ones heat is lost thru there head so a hood is a very important feature in Wisconsin.  Hats just do not stay well on us puppies.  Those humans just can not get the ear holes correct nor are the under muzzle straps comfortable by any means.

 

When the weather turns slightly warmer one can get away with wearing a hooded sweater.

 

Another option shown above is one with a scarf.  Not only does the scarf ensure that there is proper neck coverage...it also serves as entertainment purposes plus unlike your tail when you chase the tassel it is more likely that you will catch that.

 

Of course let's not forget to make sure we are prepared for the superbowl.  When you don't have a team jersey or refuse to buy one since your team f'd up and you cannot commit to either team in the superbowl, you can still be stylish in the football sweater.

 

There you have the basic must have items for any puppie winter wardrobe.  Now onto the possibility of Chuck wear.  My mommie was rocking this sweater the other day...

 

Oh yes what do you think?  Close but not really.

We will need to launch our very own chuck wear line since clearly finding an item that shines with all my handsomeness in the store is yet to be found.

 

What do you think?  Any other relevant life information that I could gather for you?   Until we meet again my chuck lovers...

 

 

 

 

 

National Holiday. Time for a Celebration

Hello it is I Chuck the Chiweenie overtaking my mommie's blog once again.  Sorry it has been quite sometime, I have been rather busy in the cul de sac.  Before I dig into the details of that, please take a moment to bask in this glorious day, which should be declared a National Holiday for the whole world to celebrate.  Today would be my birthday.  Celebrations shall be had.  Rumor has it mommie will treat me to a human cupcake.  I am sure there will be presents too.  Since one can never have enough presents though feel free to contact my mommie if you would like to send me something to celebrate my day.   It's my birthday!! It's my birthday!!

Moving on to cul de sac business.  There has been quite a stir here and a changing in ranks at the cul de sac. Protecting the cul de sac is a very tough duty.  Bullet does a good job, even with his short attention span, of watching the front of the homestead.  I have devoted my time to watching the back.  Now this has left very little time for me to personally protect my humans, my mommie in particular and then daddie especially when I need a puppie massage.  Hey I work hard.    Sometime in November mommie and daddie decided that I would be better suited to ensure their personal protection full time.  To enable me to do this, they brought home a new puppy brother that I can train to take over as the backyard guard.

Let me introduce...Little Man. 

Even his name sounds fierce.  Like a professional boxer. He wears no tags just a label from mommie. Mommie says he is quiet and stealthy like a ninja. I have seen it. I mean he can poop on the floor 3 feet away from them and be on the couch by the time anyone notices. Plus he is not afraid of baby gates.  He will push them over to gain access to the forbidden rooms in the house, one being the teenage boy's room and anyone who can go into there is one brave brave puppie soul.

 

Our first order of business was to take him for a walk in the cul de sac.  One needs to be shown the perimeter they are expected to protect.  He must memorize the lines of where protection should begin and the neighbors cars.  Mommie and daddie do not approve when we bark at the neighbors cars.  It is rude.

Here he is cross training with Bullet while I oversee the process.

 

Now to make sure he stays lean and mean, my Uncle has been bringing over Ava monster for him to "play with".   She is bigger than him and will just keep getting bigger.  Plus she is younger and training to be a hunter.  Here they are in one of their practice sessions.

 

 

Of course I must oversee everything to ensure that they are both working hard and Little man is performing to the specifications I have established for him.

 



Now my dear people you are aware on why I have not had the time to pay a visit to my mommies blog for sometime.  No worries though I will be back on schedule here soon.  For now though I must go, we are going to party like it's my birthday....

 IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!  IT'S MY BIRTHDAY !!!

 

Weiner Wisdom - Branching Out

 

Hello, it is I Chuck the Chiweenie. It seems like it has been sometime since I have visited mommie's blog.  With summer definitely passed my days have to now be spent relaxing in the kennel while the teenagers go to school and mommie and daddie work.   This kennel time provides me a great deal of time to think and come up with my next great adventure.

 

While I was laying in the kennel listening to Bullet snore, all day.  He is lazy.  He just sleeps while I contemplate the inner workings of our everyday mundane details and how we can progress forward instead of lazily sitting with out a call to action. 

 

During one of my contemplation moments, I was rather upset regarding the weekend activities in which my mommie decided to dress me up like a squirrel.  Does she not know the dangers of this and recall that my puppy brother is the eviscerator.  Thankfully she did not leave me with him and I stuck right close by her side. 

 

 

Then it came to me.  She places me in these different types of clothing, tells me to look this way, or stand like this.  She just realizes that I am truly handsome and would be a perfect puppy model.  All along she has been teaching me how to branch out instead of just sitting her wasting my days during the winter.  The cul de sac does not require much protection in winter.  No one likes to go out into that cold.  Now let me continue with my puppy modeling portfolio, I mean proof of her faith that I will be a fantastic puppy model.

 

 

 

Remember this stellar representation of my culture.  This picture was even titled.  She must be sending these into the puppy modeling companies, I just know it.  I must be extra careful now to ensure that I am always looking my best.

 

 

 

This is the rugged outdoor Chuck.  We will just disregard that looking so fierce she forgot to take the picture in the great outdoors.

 

 

 

Here is the perfect picture of how a beach model would present a companies sunglasses to them.  Yes, we do not wear swimsuits.  It is more appealing to people for summer photos when you are dressed (or not dressed) scandalously.

 

 

Not sure what the intent was on this, we will assume it was a moment in which she felt I could branch out with my artsy side.

 

 

 

 

Then one cannot forget how to take the most perfect holiday/winter photos.  The key is to poise correctly so everyone may see the details of the sweater.  Someday these will grace every households' Christmas cards.

 

Now the one thing that I will be working on is the assurance that I have something that will set me apart from the rest of the puppy models.  My signature shall be known as "chucking"

 

 

 

Look closely to Chuck you must put one ear up and one ear down. 

 

Good luck copying this one. It takes tons of practice and skill. I shall trademark it though just in case.  Behold Chucking. 

 

Next up I shall launch my very own clothing line so everyone everywhere can represent Chuck the Chiweenie.  I can see it now coming to a store near you, Chuckwear. 

 

Go ahead be like the cool kids, peace out

 

 

Weiner Wisdom - Culture

 Well, Hello there it is I, Chuck the Great Chorizo.  As everyone shall know by now that I am part chihuahua. Sadly, I have been so focused on ensuring that the cul de sac was not taken over by these little humans that I missed the tell tale signs that it is the year of the chihuahua.

 

Not sure how I could have missed this.  My mommie has been allowing my posts to stay on the blog.  I was given great responsibilities of being the protector of our little cul de sac.  Plus, they even celebrated a day that is very important in my culture, cinco de mayo.  There was even a pinata...silly gringos though could not bust that open.

 

Now my mommie has gone the extra mile to ensure that I can represent and celebrate in my culture.  She had bought me a sombrero and colorful poncho.  Now everyone shall know that I am a fierce little chorizo.  Plus I shall use the hat to cover my eyes for my siesta when a blanket is not available.

 

 

 

 This is my mommie and me.  She could not pass up the opportunity to have a picture taken with such a daper, well dressed little mexican chorizo.

There are days in which I wonder if she does not have sliver of mexican culture within her blood.  At a given opportunity aka the mention of a margarita, she will be dressed and out the door before the word is finished...saying something along the lines of I love me some tequila. 

 

 

 Yes, for a brief moment I did allow the puppy brother to have my sombrero placed upon his head.  One must be given the chance to feel what greatness comes from this.  As you can see this scared him slightly, he is weak.  This is why I am the main protector of the cul de sac and he is only my minion.

 

 

 

 The time has come for this chorizo to head for the nearest siesta, oh I mean fiesta. Everyone in my circle knows I am DTF, that would be Down to Fiesta in my world you dirtly little minds. Bring me my tequila.

Adios mi Bitchachos

 

 

Weiner Wisdom - Security

Yes, it is I Chuck the Chiweenie.  I am finally able to find the time to hack into my mommies blog.  Summer means that I am rather busy.  In summertime there are numerous people that have crawled out from the depths of their winter slumbers.  This means that I need to take additional measures and consistently be on guard watching over our little cul de sac.

  I find the front of the house to be rather secure.  The door is generally shut.  The only intruder that crosses property lines which is seen on a regular basis appears to do no harm.  He comes puts paper in the box or leaves a box outside.  Bullet has a very high disregard for this man.  I feel assured that if the leaver of paper and boxes does something shady, Bullet will defend our fortress.

This leaves me to protect the rear of the house.  There appears to be more activity there also.  it requires a keen sense.  To ensure that the perimeter is held, I have enlisted the help of daddie's robotic pink flamingo.

 

This shall help to scare away any one who thinks of approaching.  I will also be ordering a camera to hide and install on the flaminigo.  This way I will be able to watch the perimeter from the comforts of my blanket on the couch. 

 

Mommie realizing the importance of the safety of the cul de sac and the job we do, has made me this wonderful bandana.  Now the world shall know I mean business.  I look tough, if I do say so myself.  To keep the jealousy of my ruggedness to a minimum, I ensured that mommie also gave one to Bullet. 

Can not have issues with the troops. This would lead to the possibility of rebellion. We can not have that it would cause more stress to my mommie. One day daddie though will win over mommie and we will have another puppy in the house; which I will diligently recruit (show him I am the leader here), to join our forces.  Mommie is on the fence about adding to the family.  She is unsure since they brought me home.  Like my daddie says, "Best Dog Ever."   Mommie just needs to realize that she would need to lower her standards back to the level of Bullet and not expect to obtain another more intelligent than I.   Like daddie says, "Best Dog Ever."

Must go now, I here noise and movement coming from the great outdoors...10-4 over and out, "Best Dog Ever"